Best Charlie Sheen Quotes: From Tiger Blood to Bi-Winning

Charlie Sheen interviews as of late have provided an immense entertainment factor, thanks to the amazingly quotable lines the Two and a Half Men actor has been issuing. Charlie Sheen quotes may not always make sense, but they never fail to make us laugh, so we’ve collected a few of our favorite Charlie Sheen quotes below.

Between Charlie Sheen’s Today Show interview and numerous radio rants, there’s obviously a lot of content on which to draw. And honestly, we could spew out Charlie Sheen quotes all day (actually, most of the Bloginity office has been doing so). Now, we’re passing the joy on to you with this collection of Charlie Sheen quotes. If you prefer scripted Sheen to uncensored Sheen, you can watch Two and a Half Men online right here.

Share your favorite Charlie Sheen quotes in the comments!

Best Charlie Sheen Quotes

“I am on a drug – it’s called Charlie Sheen. It’s not available because if you try it, you will die. Your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body.”

“I’m different. I have a different constitution, I have a different brain, I have a different heart. I got tiger blood, man.”

“If you borrowed my brain for five seconds, you’d be like, ‘Dude! Can’t handle it, unplug this bastard!’ It fires in a way that’s maybe not from, uh… this terrestrial realm.”

“The run I was on made Sinatra, Flynn, Jagger, Richards, all of them look like droopy-eyed, armless children.”

“I probably took more than anybody could survive. I was banging seven-gram rocks. Because that’s how I roll. I have one speed. I have one gear: Go.”

“I’m not bi-polar, I’m bi-winning. I win here and I win there.”

“It’s been a tsunami of media and I’ve been riding it on a mercury surfboard.”

“The only thing I’m addicted to right now is winning.”

“I’m tired of pretending I’m not special. I’m tired of pretending I’m not a total bitchin’ rock star from Mars.”

“People can’t figure me out, they can’t process me, I don’t expect them to. You can’t process me with the normal brain.”

“I’m an F-18, bro, and I will destroy you in the air and deploy my ordnance to the ground.”

“Dying is for fools, amateurs.”