Best Charlie Sheen Quotes: From Tiger Blood to Bi-Winning

Charlie Sheen interviews as of late have provided an immense entertainment factor, thanks to the amazingly quotable lines the Two and a Half Men actor has been issuing. Charlie Sheen quotes may not always make sense, but they never fail to make us laugh, so we’ve collected a few of our favorite Charlie Sheen quotes below.

Between Charlie Sheen’s Today Show interview and numerous radio rants, there’s obviously a lot of content on which to draw. And honestly, we could spew out Charlie Sheen quotes all day (actually, most of the Bloginity office has been doing so). Now, we’re passing the joy on to you with this collection of Charlie Sheen quotes. If you prefer scripted Sheen to uncensored Sheen, you can watch Two and a Half Men online right here.

Share your favorite Charlie Sheen quotes in the comments!

Best Charlie Sheen Quotes

“I am on a drug – it’s called Charlie Sheen. It’s not available because if you try it, you will die. Your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body.”

“I’m different. I have a different constitution, I have a different brain, I have a different heart. I got tiger blood, man.”

“If you borrowed my brain for five seconds, you’d be like, ‘Dude! Can’t handle it, unplug this bastard!’ It fires in a way that’s maybe not from, uh… this terrestrial realm.”

“The run I was on made Sinatra, Flynn, Jagger, Richards, all of them look like droopy-eyed, armless children.”

“I probably took more than anybody could survive. I was banging seven-gram rocks. Because that’s how I roll. I have one speed. I have one gear: Go.”

“I’m not bi-polar, I’m bi-winning. I win here and I win there.”

“It’s been a tsunami of media and I’ve been riding it on a mercury surfboard.”

“The only thing I’m addicted to right now is winning.”

“I’m tired of pretending I’m not special. I’m tired of pretending I’m not a total bitchin’ rock star from Mars.”

“People can’t figure me out, they can’t process me, I don’t expect them to. You can’t process me with the normal brain.”

“I’m an F-18, bro, and I will destroy you in the air and deploy my ordnance to the ground.”

“Dying is for fools, amateurs.”

  • Kakadupin

    “I’m tired of pretending I’m not special. I’m tired of pretending I’m not a total bitchin’ rock star from Mars…”
    Ya gotta admit, that’s pretty cool….

  • Amadka08

    Only 7grams of rock, you call that tiger blood..more like pussy juice!!!.Bahahahahaa

  • Amadka08

    just another hollywood junkie, not winning… LOSER

  • Allchin Pl

    charlie , slow down bro, dont go down in a blaze of glory, allchin

  • Rlq468

    i live in australia and i wish charlie sheen would move in next door…this guys a riot….love him…GO CHARLIE stick it to them bro !!!!!

  • Jafindme

    Charlie Sheen is obviously mentally ill. His comments should not be used for amusement purposes. On a slippery slope now, his life will likely end prematurely.

  • Coolridge

    “lab results are in and the drug and narcotic experts say the drug charlie sheen was using was powerful enough to kill two and a half men!!

  • Jgearn

    just add coke and an R rating to the show and lts charlie in real life! go charlie go mate! live the dream all the rest wish they could!

  • FrozenFizz

    to Jill the “medium” Ah, anyone can see where this guy is heading. One does not need to do a “reading” to work this out.
    God, I hate “psychics”. Surmising and intuition is not being a psychic. There is no such thing.

  • Firehorse271266

    HeyCharlie, read the book “ESCAPE TO THE NINTH PLANET”…. its right up the alley

  • Deb

    Not hard to predict where this fool is going to end up

  • Grant

    Charlie for President of the U.S.A. At least he makes sense in comparison to all your politicians and I certainly prefer someone who obviously doesn’t take himself to seriously and declares war only on himself not on anyone who has oil and won’t give it to them

  • Dizzydrobe

    Sheen to get Clean

  • Jill Feyka

    This entire situation is close to becoming a tragedy unless he gets help. I did a psychic reading on him (I’m a Medium & Psychic) and things are not looking good for Sheen. Not going to fill the post with details but I blogged about it and made a two part video on youtube. For details on what I saw you can visit: jillfeyka.wordpress, or my youtube channel: creativeendeavor635. Let’s hope this man gets the help he needs. He has young children that need a sober, healthy father.

  • Iain Alexander

    These quotes are sensational. Great job!

  • True Knowledge

    best @charliesheen quotes #dead

  • Enirke01

    Also: “…do ants have toes?”

  • Guest

    The Best Charlie Sheen WINNING quote generator

  • charlie’sangelSheen’s#1goddess

    “A woman is not meant to be hit they are meant to be hugged and caressed”- Charlie Sheen

    “I HAVE ONE SPEED ONE GEAR GO”-Charlie Sheen